The traditional movement of girls after marriage to live at their parents-in-law's house means that many families still do not see value in educating their daughters to the same standard as their sons. Perceptions are changing however, particularly in the cities and I had interesting conversations at lunch today with my female colleagues, some of whom are living independently with their husbands, rather than in the traditional extended families. We were discussing the advantages and stresses of such families in a country where there is very little pension provision and no National Health Service. When parents get old they traditionally rely on their sons and their wives to take care of them.Grandparents usually take an active role in caring for their grandchildren, so the traditional family has some very practical advantages even if many independent young professional married Nepali women are no longer content to live with , and be subservient to their mother -in -law.
Traditional entrenched gender roles can affect men also. One of my male colleagues told me that after the birth of his baby,when he was staying with his wifes family, both his wife and her mother were ill and the pile of dirty nappies was getting larger and larger. he therefore washed them and hung them out ot dry. Afterwards he was scolded by his wife and her family for doing demeaning work whihc ould bring the family into disrespect in the community! So it will take time to change perceptions and make the workload and status of men and women more equal. I was so impressed by the attitude of the Nepali men on the course as they shared their stories and showed their commitment to gender equity, with equal opportunities for men and women her in Nepal.
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